Kettle Jalapeno Chips are Better than Cheddar Sour Cream Ruffles

Kettle Jalapeno Chips Cheddar Sour Cream Ruffles

We'll be using a strict set of rules and guidleines in order to judge the aforementioned claim. This is science. Trust me. I'm a Cognitive Science major. Really. Trust me.

Each category will receive a score out of 10, with 0 being terrible and 10 being perfect.
  1. Taste: What do they taste like?
  2. Price: What do they cost?
  3. Branding: How appealing do they look?
  4. Happiness: How happy do they make me?
Jalapeno Ruffles
Taste 10 0
Price 10 0
Branding 10 0
Happiness 10 0

As you can see, our rigorous scientific experiment proved, with complete certainty and absolutely no bias whatsoever, that Kettle Jalapeno Chips are superior in every way.

Kettle Jalapeno Chips even have a host of benefits:

Don't take it from me!

Oh man, if I had known about Kettle Jalapeno Chips when I was fighting sailors earlier, I wouldn't have eaten all that spinach. — Popeye

I always eat an entire bag before...well, if I told you I'd have to kill you. — James Bond

Ever since Scoob learned about Kettle Jalapeno Chips, that's all he's been eating. Scooby snacks are obsolete. — Shaggy

The force is strong with them. — Darth Vader

Help. I've been trapped at the Kettle factory for months. They won't let me leave. — Some guy trapped at the Kettle factory

If you don't agree with this conclusion, feel free to shoot me an email at and we can discuss about how you're wrong

Also feel free to check out their website here: Kettle