Sample object paper

Object of an Aquarium (rough draft, slightly edited)

J.L.

I came back to my dorm room this January with a new object to add to my shelf. This made-in-Japan-all-plastic-parts-just-add-water fishbowl entered my life the only way an object of its sort could--as a gift. My new aquarium sits about as high as a math textbook, and bubbles outward from its black stand. It even came with two fish, one yellow, one blue. When the switch next to the battery pack is switched on, the two fish flip their tails and swagger sporadically about their acrylic kingdom.

The fish are done up as fish "ought" to look according to very cartoonish standards. Their bright colors and comically bold markings accentuate a false preconception of underwater life. Having no respect for the true anatomy of fish, [the makers] of my new pets [included] no fins or gills, only a tail that propels them through their bubble of existence.

With all their lack of detail and overflowing "cuteness," my fish represent one way our society would like to view nature. They move spontaneously, mindlessly. Their markings mimick those of actual tropical reef fish, and just like real animals they interact with one another by bumping into one another (occasionally becoming stuck to each other due to the magnets embedded within them--try to think of it a spawning though) Even the backdrop of my fish tank is a deep blue with shallow portruding [plastic?\} coral, a natural environment for fake fish.

[What's odd /significant about this is that] real tropical fish are almost as simple to care for as these fake ones, the former merely demand more food and regular change of water. [Apparently] the most simple of pets must be simplified to the point where just adding water and flipping a switch is all that is required for some people to commune with nature. [Thus] this bubble of [chlorinated]tap water and plastic can be a metaphor for man's relationship with nature: as long as the fish don't threaten us and demand nothing more than two D batteries, they are welcome. With a flip of a switch we control nature.

The fish are nature designed by Sharper Image, that wilderness connection we dream of in a better life. They're witty [kitchy? campy?], technologically advanced, and clearly designed for people who [like to think of themselves as having/] have places to go at a moment's notice and can't be tied down by the demands of a goldfish. We have no commitments to plastic fish: no oil spills will foul their water, their species will never become extinct, only their copyright. They never need feeding...and are guaranteed to run into each other for the duration of the battery. One will never die and leave the other alone, and they will never starve due to offshore plankton fishers. They have never carried Salmonella nor bitten small children, even if provoked. With these synthetic fish people can commune with nature without all the inconvenience of yesteryear.

I thanked my parents for the gift...but could see no use for it. I could have filled the space on my shelf with a coffee mug, a clock, even a plant. It isn't a nightlight, a pencil sharpener, or even a very good bookend. Yet it has a kind of function, even power. Because of its utter uselessness (you can't use it to understand the Great Barrier Reef or the black market of fish) and novelty, it's a sign of wealth. [There's even historical precedent for this]. Aristocrats all over Europe in the last century harbored exotic collections of impractical objects, including stuffed wildlife, rare skulls and shells, maybe even a human arm, arranged artfully in a bell jar of formaldehyde. No one actually needed such things, no recipes called for abnormal human teeth or tropical butterfly wings. But these symbolized wealth and an educated appreciation of nature. My fishbowl has echoes of the same high class allure, defining my socio-economic rank.

...This pseudo-pet represents our ideal relationship with nature: we are in charge and have minimal commitment to it...

Commentary: What I like about this paper is that it looks atthe social significance of an object: what it tells us about us. The author even brings in some history, yet the piece remains lively and funny. The prose even has some stylish/poetic moves: parallel sentence structure (for example : "We have no commitments to plastic fish: no oil spills will foul their water, their species will never become extinct, only their copyright. They never need feeding...and are guaranteed to run into each other for the duration of the battery. One will never die and leave the other alone, and they will never starve due to offshore plankton fishers."). We also see a variety of sentence structures and length. There's even some alliteration, e.g. acrylic kingdom.